oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
