I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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