R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
