..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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