weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
