So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just cut my nipple shaving
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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