maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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