I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
