I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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