I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
