I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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