Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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