She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
