ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
