Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize