He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
