Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
