maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
