I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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