And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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