I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
