Only a mothe r could love this liver
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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