Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
