am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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