while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
that is very illegal...i love you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
