im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yo dont text me then not text me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
