I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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