i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
