How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
