Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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