I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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