I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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