My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
