Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
