Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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