Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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