oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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