...so i touched it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
