I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just invented taco cereal.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize