so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
