tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
