All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
oh god the rape fog is back!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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