I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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