hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
