Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're too hungover to prance.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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