I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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