You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
