....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
