The best revenge is premature balding
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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