While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
