pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
