she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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