Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
this hospital has no fireball
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How does it feel to date your dad?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
