Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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