Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
