I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
