No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
