I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
