yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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