My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize