Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i need some magic done to my vagina
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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