There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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