How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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