grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
