i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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