someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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