Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize