Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
