He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
