i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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