i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
