how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
