I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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