You're my little dorito
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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