Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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