well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
