he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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